I have been feeling very distant from the world lately. Lately as in...the past year, possibly.
I've often experienced things that I just wanted to explode into words in someone's face, but I didn't know who I could go to. It's been very lonely. I miss my friends.
It's scary to approach my friends now, because I've lost touch with many of them.
As if I don't deserve to be supported by them....as well, having distanced myself from one friend in particular felt like building a wall between me and his buddies who were also my friends.
I skipped church, small group, and gtalk a LOT this past year!! and blamed school! I MISS THE OLD DAYS SO MUCH.
I can't hang on!! gaaaaaaahh......[echo echooo echooooooo]
This past year, dani has reverted back to shyness and lack of confidence. Without my community, I lose my strength...
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***onto the better stuff....the stuff i meant to talk about at first***
There's two good things about school right now....tomboys and sports!!! Yea, I have two 10-pg papers this year (last year my longest one was 4 pages....i'm doooomed)!
SOC633: Sexualities, Identities, and Society - the TOMBOY paper!!
I'm pretty excited about this one, looking forward to researching it but not writing it.
It was only in first year of uni that I had this amazing revelation that I am/had been a "tomboy". Not so much anymore...I'm trying to be more hegemonically "girly". *sigh*
What makes tomboyism permissible in childhood and adolescence but not in adulthood?
What discourses repress or promote masculinity in women?
What's with the stereotype that tomboys will grow up to be lesbian?
What makes "tomboys" so non-threatening compared to "butch lesbian"?
#2. INT902: Disability Issues---Sports and Disability paper!
This is quite interesting...I'll be exploring how social and structural conditions surrounding disabled sports have oppressed the athletes within them.
I see now that I've been turning a blind eye to this particular marginalized population.....what do you see when I say "sports"? wheelchair basketball/rugby/tennis? sitting volleyball? People swimming without arms? A blind man running the 400m?
yeaa, didn't think so. Also interesting is the idea of reconceptualizing the BODY, example here:
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mmmm....that's it for now, folks!
6 comments:
Your descriptions of those courses makes me miss the non-essay side of formal education.
Why are you trying to be girly?
You aren't alone in your isolation. It's the part of formal education I don't miss.
Is being more intentional about your community time possible?
Depth may have decreased, but your friends are still there.
Summer is coming?
Summer is coming.
Thanks Albert! no really, thanks!
I'm trying to be more girly, because I find enjoyment in it but I also just want to be recognized as womanly.
Being more intentional is possible...I'm trying to have more online presence even though I can't be there for much of the social events. I also lack discipline...esp. getting up. What do you say?
SUMMER IS COMING.
Enjoyment is a good reason.
Though, I think people are finally respecting "tomboys" as they unashamedly reject cultural gender roles of women. They deny that the ideal for women is to be passive, a follower, or dependent on men. They deny that their hobbies should include shopping, playing w/ make-up, or how to make men like them. They deny that their appearance or activities are limited by the mere fact that they are female.
To whom do you want to be recognized as womanly?
It's healthy that you recognize the importance of community and miss it dearly, but how have you sacrificed for it?
Softball is also coming.
Take care, ganbatte.
http://genderanalyzer.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ironbutterfly10.blogspot.com%2F
It thinks this blog is written by a man. :P
lol cool website Jash, my blog is written by a female apparently...
break the wall, or climb over it =)
@albert: about tomboys, that is precisely why i'm writing my paper. thank you, i'll use that and reference you (jk!!). recognized by people i encounter, as womanly...like i said, i enjoy it!
interesting you bring sacrifice up....in the past i've sacrificed tons of time for my community at the expense of my time/relationship with my family. Now I've gained my family and been distanced from my other community.
haven't you found that as well?? It seems like a worthy thing found, but it looks like summer will topple the balance once again in favor of my other community.
@jash: they don't explain how they analyze it!
@darren: it seems like your blog is mostly gender-neutral! congratulations, your blog is androgynous (but the gender version of that)
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