the good.

-God.
-biking with my bros. cleaning a bike. falling twice.
-gym night. playing basketball, sucking at it, and not caring. =)
-finishing the assessment exam. and getting a candy cane.
-good talks with great people.
-FINDING MY RANGER BOOTS!! mmmm those steel-toed lovelies.
-christmas card from dho.
-walking alone....with God.

aaahhh....3 more days.

I smile. but it's ok to cry.

GOD IS GOOD! stressless, even happy...4/8!
-had fun writing the french 'composition'--i love how they let you write about almost anything you want.
-now studying for tomorrow's ....2:44 am and i'm at 3/5 modules. (plus all the mod's from before the midterms...almost there! =)

Anywho, the purpose of this blog. God's put this verse on my heart lately, one that i had to memorize as a kid...and yet it remains! (kids are like SPONGES- quote many)

Maybe it'll bless you as much as it's blessed me.

Psalm 139
O Lord, You have searched me and You know me
You know when i sit and when I rise
You perceive my thoughts from afar
You discern my going out and my lying down
You are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in-- behind and before;
You have laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your Presence?
If I go up to the heavens, You are there.
If I make my bed in the depths You are there,
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
If i settle on the far side of the sea,
EVEN THERE Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.

...and you can look the rest up. =) actually, it's just that i can't think of it right now.

PS i know there's those of you who skip over verses and just go to the end...

BUT if i can type it out, then you can read it

YA? yeaaa. good.

*edit. 3:00am. i don't usually expand on verses (i think). ....so i won't this time either. it's just nice to have a reminder like that. all the time. =) whoops. was that expansion? i don't think so. aaahhh. ok. on to mod 8.
*edit. 6:05 am. i wrote the verse wrong the first time, thought i was so good in memorizing. but...yes. it's looked up and corrected now. bon jour!

notice #1

MSN = screwy.
msn's been messing up on me for the last little while, gotta type something like 6 times before i can send the message.
found a way around it: handwriting it!
so sorry for those who i've just handwritten everything, it gets annoying to everyone and takes a long time, so yea! just to let u guys know. =)

(PS did someone pray for me today? cuz i felt it. thanks! to you and thanks! to jesus)

PPS there's not notice #2

2 more weeks.

-getting more and more unproductive
-sleep during day and work in the....early early morning...
TODAY
-woke up for church
-came home around 2
-ate lunch until like 3ish
-tried to work for an hour, kept falling asleep
-so i slept til 5...no...6ish
-tried to work
-fell asleep until 7
-worked a bit
-msn'd, phoned a bit
-worked a bit more
-ate dinner (9:30)
-blogged.
-i'm gonna work now.

Dec. 5: French oral exam, midterm practice performance review, bio exam, workbook diagrams due.
Dec. 7: French written exam, practice exam
Dec 8: Nutrition exam
Dec 9: Assessment Exam (AAAHHH!!! heard this one was a killer)
Dec 11: Theory Exam

Dec 12: WT potluck...yay!

Dec. 13: Psych Exam

....aaahhhh! =(

...pray?

ok. i'm gonna work now.

listening to a song

"and You calm my raging seas,
and you calm the storms in me,
....all i know, is i find rest in You."

wishing it could happen. know it's my own fault. but yet....=/

no..it's not all about schoolwork.

"your grace is all i need....
your grace is all i need...
your grace is all i need..."

=(

[edit 5 mins later]. i never realized how hard it was to be honest on the blog until something acutlaly came up.

3 weeks to go....
7 exams...
2 much work...

=( almost there.

" i love this man "

i don't like forwards..so i post them here. first time i've received this one....i like!

"I LOVE THIS MAN"
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE .

at least part of the forward. it talks about Jesus, by the way....acknowledging him because you love him.

Matthew 10:32
"Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My Father in heaven. But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven"

oh. and you know what's disgusting? Other people's head grease on the window beside your head. noticed twice on the ttc today....now i know not to lean head on windows, etc.

i went for a jog this afternoon...

and afterwards i stayed in the shower

....for as long as i had jogged. XP

stomach cramps cuz i had no food in my stomach.

oatmeal + ovaltine + cheerios = mmmmm

and then a bowl of raisin bran crunch.

stomach ache because i had too much food.

lately.

CCSA.
cheer harder, love more, pray more, speak up more, play harder, try harder. not gonna shy away and pretend i suck when i don't. or not be afraid to suck when i do. just to improve and play my best. every game...every devo...not afraid to ask for help. need it.

by the way, Numbers 24 mentions "oracle" many many times.

it could wait.

URBANA...not just another spiritual high. make sure of that.

PLAN FOILED!! was gonna take friend to SNA, kinda...intro to church, i guess. but turns out she's not going cuz of too much work (tho i have the same amt)...=(

-been trying to focus on my relationships with my nonChristian friends, instead of always hanging in the Christian circle...how can i be a better...beacon?

SPiRitual Gifts...teacher was pleased when i told her i had filled out a spiritual gift inventory to include in my portfolio (yea, nurses have portfolios too). =)

horrible sleep patterns....

been talking a lot more to some people, and a lot less to others.

missing them.

or missing out.

oh yea. i finally watched NACHO LIBRE. i can stop quoting it...NOW.

It's funny because, looking back, this year has been very...very self-focused. fine, selfish.

well, why not, the theme of Year 1 nursing IS "Self"...

to get to know yourself so you can serve others better.

then i take the spiritual gifts sunday school.

which is even more focused on self. =)

hehe.

what can you say...

..or do...for someone who is hurting, who's going through tough times...
how do you encourage someone you can't relate to at all?

i remember reading this verse, to let God do the encouraging or relating....Lamentations 3:1,20ish
"1 I am the man who has seen affliction...[goes on to specifics]...
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD. "

...it's hard to believe that when you're in a rut isn't it? to look forward to the next morning, no matter how many more problems you have...cuz his forgiveness, his compassions are that much more also. it's hard...cuz it's so intangible. (no i didn't mean to have an answer for this. maybe you have a comment?)

i've been opened up to a couple lives this week...aspects that i haven't really seen before...
PRAISE GOD for what he's done...what he is yet to do...
but also fall down before Him and plead for these people.

even though i wasn't able to give advice...maybe God's been trying to teach me the values of silence.
i usually give bad advice (chris, 2006) anyways...cuz i'm pretty non-objective in approaching anything. is it that i side with people too easily, is that why people approach me to talk about stuff? so gullible..yes i care..i care tremendously....but that also means i trust too easily. in my mind everyone's good, and everyone's honest. (hyperbola) it's hard for me to distinguish between lies and truth...especially when it's not the whole truth. a while ago i was thinking about this, and the phrase that i'd been using the most was "what a jerk". been trying not to make comments like that lately, but ..yea. still trying XP
like albert said though...the judgment doesn't matter as much as what your actions are in response to it.

on a lighter note....cheers to superman! (aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!) and nacho, while i'm at it.

HAHAH.

Class: Psychology
Feeling...very sleepy. i couldn't help it, and i kept dozing off....he was talking about drugs and how people got hooked on it...
and my head kept snapping back (or forward), my writing started becoming illegible scribbles...
and just my luck that i snapped back far enough that my head banged the concrete wall behind me. ...with a loud BONG.
just my luck. i don't even usually SIT at the back.
no, it didn't interrupt the class, but friends sitting near the side--THE SIDE--heard it. (i sit near the middle) and it's one of my bigger classes. (meaning 50ish people)

HAHAHA.

So remember what i said last time about falling asleep in class? "you can tell..."

















AND....it's finally OFF. This piece of rope has been on my wrist since the first week of ranger camp last summer...(i think). We were sitting around the fire pit, in a circle. We passed around the rope (uncut at the time) and when it got to us, shared why we came to the camp and what our expectations and goals were. =) and then we each got a piece of it, and the camp supervisors had to come around and burn/melt the rope together. MMMM FIRE.




Anywho, considering the massive amounts of bacteria, dirt, and sicknesses that have built up in this bracelet...good thing it's off.

Oh, the reason? We were learning about handwashing in the Nursing Practice lab, and we weren't allowed any bracelets or jewelry on our hands.

Quite the disgusting lab....we rubbed lotion-like stuff all over our hands at the beginning. Little did we know this was GermaGlow--it simulated bacteria. So after a bit of lecture, we got to see our hands--and hte rest of our bodies--under the blacklight, and anywhere the GermaGlow got to..it GLOWED. (har har) you don't realize how much bacteria you spread all over yourself--when you scratch your nose or straighten your shirt, push your hair out of your way. yea...it's gross. Ezpecially things like rings and bracelets...the stuff accumulates in massive amounts cuz not many people think of washing them.

So we had to learn proper handwashing technique, to see how well we really washed away the bacteria. After some pretty intense rubbing, we looked at our hands under the blacklight again. Most people still had the glowing bacteria on their nail beds.

The moral of the story is: you should wash your hand for 10-15 seconds, or about the same amount of time it takes to sing the happy birthday song. and turn the taps off with a dry paper towel.

best?

Something i've been thinking about...

During this last 2006 year....i don't feel like i've tried my hardest. in Winnipeg...i could have prepared myself so much better, given more, been more open. Oracles...more committed, strive to learn more, to cheer more, to be a better leader. Kids Camp...to enjoy it more, drink in every moment as a blessing, to prepare more and do it ahead of time...

i've purposed to give my best in everything i'm involved in, week by week..
but something that's stuck out to me:

You don't have to be better than anyone else to be the best you can be.

maybe that's how i was judging my "best" this year...and maybe that's why it was so hard to feel accomplished.

the long term BloOperS!

1. what non-frosh uni-ers have said to me..."WHAT?! Why'd you buy NEW BOOKS!?"
so my advice to the frosh: DON't Buy NEW BOOKS if you can help it!! and get good bargaining people to sell them for you...for more...

2. sleeping in class. no, classes aren't THAT bad....i just go in tired. and you can tell...

3. tripping on stairs. 2nd floor, in front of the library, last step up. New college cafeteria, halfway down. 3rd floor staircases..almost! but no. >.<

my bloopers suck now!

ironbutterfly

I think Albert once asked why i used "ironbutterfly" before...

mmm best drink ever.....too bad i've never tried it. (check, something to do before i die)

so yes. just kidding.

Iron butterfly....to be STRONG and steadfast as iron, yet GRACEFUL, renewed, and creative as a butterfly. XD and butterflies also symbolize a new life, so, a new life in Christ.

......

.........

.................

Fine. i was just kidding about that part too (although it's not bad). I actually just ripped this name off my friend, back in 8th grade, cuz i thought he was oh-so-cool. and i got to be on his team when he first came up with it, so i had first rights to it. HAHAHA.

mm yummy.

To my summer bros.

I ate a fortune cookie today.
The slip of paper read:
"Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded..."

HAHA.
I think one of you had this one.

========================

i've had a couple funny bloopers lately...will post.
yes...i did say i'd try no to post as many. but its good for da soul if used in moderacy. =)

O.o

- Darn it. I think i'm getting dumber by the day. University doesn't make you more intelligent...maybe more mature...but it hasn't helped me much.
I've decided not to post TOO many bloopers, or try to recall them, because it only magnifies my clumsiness and stupidity...and causes me to make more. =$

- I've realized how....crude i've become. looking back at a 2005 post...when i was angry at 'family guy' for being perverted and crappy. wow. i'm probably just as bad now. =$ yes. i probably learned it during this summer with the guys....but i could bet i'm probably one of the worst now.
check out the verse i found the other day...God's saying something...

"Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly." 2 Timothy 2:16

mmm.how straightforward can it get?! =O

.Undeserving.

aaahhh. My God above....how awesome you are. To show your love in such overwhelming ways...XD

I wish I had tears to cry. I wish I had the words to say.

Just by remembering...you MADE MY DAY.

...and i didn't mean for this to rhyme. >.<

Undeserving is the word.
Cherished and loved is what I feel. because of you. =)

THANK YOU!!

the "pre-icing"....the gifts i got before my bday.
then the "icing" from the cake...more gifts.
then the "cake" itself...CASH. nah i'm just kidding. but the EFFORT and the TIME and the *LOVE* (once again)...man. if i could hug you all, i would. if i haven't, take one--> {}

the "D". The "L". the Cat-ring holder. the Nalgene, the Mec bp. the animal frame, the photos, the bear. the pj pants. the...lito red sharpie? and the cards with pictures that were worth a thousand words...and the cards with a thousand words. and, of course, the cash.
the precious short chats, the hugs, the smiles, the props. SSWWWEEETT!! >.<

=================================

18th marks...
-a goal i didn't achieve
-day i can sign my own papers
-the day the children's worship, Kid's Camp stuff, and children's storage got cleaned up and organized
-a lotta love. LOTS. muah.
-another second chance
-a God who provides, protects, and always comes back.
-repeat..."Take me, mold me, use me...but most of all, FILL me with YOur spirit..."

The day my clumsiness...was just another day of clumsiness. Shall i recall blooperS?
-tripping over a box on my way up the church ramp- thing.

-ice tea from real tea. since i didn't think gatorade bottles should go in the microwave, i poured the bottle of chilled tea into a corning ware..bowl-plate. heated it up...and had to find a way to put it back in the Gatorade bottle so i could add honey and sugar. so i transferred it to a pitcher, stirred in the honey, realized it wasn't warm enough, added boiling water, realized it was too bland, added more honey, and more sugar.......and spilled a bit while pouring it into the Gatorade bottle.
(Must i explain, there wasn't too much of it, and the pitcher took up a lot of space.) ((and the tea was from putting way too many tea leaves in a 500mL bottle, and having to dilute it.))

-actually. i don't recall much. but just now..

-broken glass. i was adjusting my position on the seat (as i was writing this blog)...and my foot hit a glass flower..container (for lack of words to describe it, as it was neither a pot nor a jar or bowl) with fake flowers that was UNDER THE CHAIR beside me...and it smashed on the floor. a chunk of the base chipped away and i had to clean it up. beware of broken glass near the computer table.

did you know that the edge of broken glass is ONE ATOM THICK? no wonder it penetrates flesh so easily. i learned this from my bio teacher, so it may or may not be true. he seems smart, and i'm pretty gullible, and the idea seems plausible.

*aah only 6 hours of sleep left!*

Uni Day 3 B!o0p3rs

1. Arrived 1 hr earlier than needed...and class started at 8am.

2. (AH! i figure this should go in "Day 2 bloopers"...but i shrug.) Went to the discount book store to get my textbooks. Ended up only picking up books for 5 courses, lined up for about 20 mins with all them extra pounds in my hands....only to find out my YOUTH ACCOUNT didn't allow me those $527. So I took off two of the books...tried again, to no avail....so I ended up buying nothing. AAAHHH FOR THOSE 4 DAYS!!!

3. I was so depressed (not really) that I almost left my backpack at the store (we had to put it in this rack before we looked around).

4. [back to present day] Went with Ed up 2 steep flights of stairs (he had just bought his books and his backpack was probably double his...thickness? let me demonstrate:
this is ed, sideview: []
this is ed's backpack,sideview: [ ] )
anywho, we couldn't find the job workshop we were looking for, so we went back down.
me: "I'm gonna go get my ISIC card now."
ed: "WHAT?! why didn't you tell me before? it's up there!"
me: "...WHAT?! i thought it was in the basement!"
..and thus the story goes...with ed having to go back up the stairs. *haha..but aw*
=============
ok guys, i'm trying too hard to think of bloopers now. so i'll give you...(drumroll please...) ...ALBERT's.
- imelda brings a friend to the UT-ET meet up. Albert introduces her to Ed (since he came late)
Albert: "Carmen, this is Ed; Ed, this is Carmen."
Ed: "Hi.......hi."
Albert: "Ed, could you please not make things so awkward?"
*laugh laugh*
...la la la...nothing much happened...AND THEN...
Imelda: "umm...her name is Serena."
now realizing that he had not only referred to her as Carmen ONCE, but FOUR TIMES already.
Albert: "ALLRIGHT *gets up*....i'm gonna go to the bathroom."

Uni day 2 BLoOpErs!

1. Bus:
"Can I get a transfer?"
"Why do you need a transfer? You have a metropass"
".......oh."

2. Subway: flipping the pen cap after writing in my agenda...pretending nothing happened...then having my foot roll over it. good thing i wasn't standing up....or it woulda become STUPID FUNNY!

3. Went into 321C half hour before class.....it was supposed to be 321A. mmmmm yay for lots of time to change classes! at least it was on the same floor. (The teacher got there about 15 mins late anyways)

Day 1 of University...BLOoPErs!

1. Woke up at 8:00 am, when I was supposed to leave at 7:45 am. (I got mom to drive me to a station)

2. Went to the wrong floor, since I assumed all Nursing courses were on the 4th floor. Got to the first class 20 mins late (it was on the 3rd floor), praise God for timing it so that they were all up and about doing an icebreaker ("Find someone who has blue eyes...."). =)

3.Went into the French classroom at 12:45 pm, to discover it was a Spanish class going on. left classroom in pitiful shame. (French started at 1pm)

4. While waiting in the hall (with 10 other people)for the French teacher to come, saw someone open this :
which was locked. Tried it a couple times just to make sure..(jiggling handle)..locked. (OK, so it's the staff washroom) So i saw the men's washroom, and assumed there had to be a women's *only* washroom. I walked around that block of classrooms...only to come back to where i started and discover that this:
was right beside the staff washroom. Stayed against the wall and pretended not to know it was there.
===============================
good day. good day.

i love...

i hate....

a question that popped up during Sojourn was "whats one thing you hate." and...i realize that i strongly dislike and almost can't stand inconsiderate people. but then, i can't expect everyone to take initiative in helping out, or in cleaning up. or even just saying "thank you" when someone does something for them. it's annoying when those who haven't helped out yet just stay in their library lounge and chill when others have been working and staying with the kids the whole day. i'm to blame too, cuz i've been part of it, but still. that's why i appreciate people like katie and jashen who continually look for ways to help out.

i've found myself getting more and more frustrated/annoyed at (for lack of words) "older" people lately. i have fun when i'm with the kids, sometimes forced, but nevertheless it works...but then afterwards i'm so tired out it's hard to smile. and i take out the tiredness & stress on the friends around me, or on specific people. i lash out in anger at them, at least in my mind. then i take it back because i know it's not fair to them....and it's not so bad. hmmm...but i guess that's just bottling it up.
i've been tempted to swear many many times this past week or so. i need a word. or maybe "aaarrgh" will do.

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. [psalm 139: 23-24]

thanks for showing me...but forgive me...Father. "Purify me heart...cleanse me from within, deep within..."

^ these dates are really messed up

..and i don't know how to fix it.
[WARNING: long blog ahead]
===============Softball================
(missing Sara, Mary, John, Warren, Timmy)

-I lost the ALBERT patches!!! nooooooooo.....

-O's. this past weekend's game have definitely been my worst, adding up stress from Kidz Camp and pressure from the field. made too many errors...but i'm glad the spirit was kept up throughout the game =)

-Pride was definitely part of it. i kept feeling i was better player than others....and that's where i failed. too many plays i thought i could "wow" people with, but my focus was on impressing people with skill instead of playing for God's glory and his fellowship instead. God p'owned me there. :/

-my first good contact during a game- lined it down center- but i almost hit darren. actually, it hit the flap of his pants, but got out anyways. booooo i could have RBI'd my lil bro too!!

-wooohhooooo O's. some sweet fellowship within the team, the dinners, the strong LUMACLES this season...i'm lovin' it!

-also lovin my immediate O family.....

-trying to decide for MAPs for this season. =)

============================================

-i finished my bowl of tsi ma woo with a fork just now.

-STRESSED spelled backwards = DESSERTS....so bring out the chocolates when you're stressed! woohoo.

-this summer has been so busy (slept in about twice these 2.5 months) with softball and Kidz camp and Winnipeg...so blessed to be able to be involved. learning to be blessed by being a blessing. ><

-praise the God of Relationships...(haha. lost count of how many times i've talked about or shared my point of view of relationships with people this summer.) ((actually, i never did start counting)) praise Him for the beautiful and precious friendships that's been built, strengthened, or even restored this summer.

-i feel sorry for the future boyfriend, if any....cuz he'll have to go through many big brothers. >.<

-this year must have had the best summer internship ever...HAHAH. maybe not in efficiency...but it was...and still is...GOOD TIMES. but...it's over NEXT WEEK!!! :'( love you...AT x 2, SW, EC. and thanks.

===============================================

-Summer Sojourn...interesting. exciting to hear from/ about the spiritual lives of certain people i hadn't heard from before...the Hoang Ho messages. So blunt and needed. challenge: what am i going to surrender to God to use for His Glory and kingdom?? i'm learning to give up my competitiveness. i said i wouldn't beat myself up for being incompetent in say, softball, or not being able to do something i never could do in the first place (like hit green). so help me in this, guys!

Scavenge the Flag..(woohoo....we owned that game), yay to chocolate moments, ankie's pulled gastrocnemius that was massaged and stretched for half hour...by john. in a room. al---no just kidding, not alone. >< face="lucida grande">AGAPE within le Daniel fellowhip. and not just that time...but just throughout this year. =) Oh Daniel....you are my sunshine <--singing the song

then the nerf gun wars...O_o fun times. first night...some random nerf action (i hope you washed that cricket nerf gun well, rich), some arm wrestling (is this stuff all that guys do?!) , flip flops in fridge (i GRRRR at that!)...the second night--choice between monopoly or taking pics for nerf gun war. HAH. afterwards had good chat with albert, then in the morning i watched the sunrise with matt.

precious moments that weekend.

================================================

-Quotable quotes: "Your body."-Edwin Call me." -Jerry........wow that's awkward. ah. hah.* ....."If you were a smurf, I'd kick you." -also by Edwin

*Must understand story in order to laugh appropriately!*

================================================

Movies to watch:

Hoodwinked, Superman Returns, X3, Lakehouse, NACHO LIBRE,....anything else?

============Kidz Camp=========================

It gives me energy and joy just to be with the kids and make them feel welcomed and loved. they're so precious, they've got so much potential! arts and crafts been fun...too bad we never got to finish up the beanbag crab.

Carly...so quiet, so sacrificial/understanding...and she gives the BEST MASSAGES! she even does arms! and she's in, what...5th grade????

Dinisha....so mature! she takes care of her little brother well.

Amrit...gotta be one of the most talkative kids ever. but still...SO CUTE!!

Fabiola (actually know 2 people with that name...they're from CR)....sticks to you like fly on flypaper. (HAHA that reminds me , huang's analogy that i didn't understand. "Fly sticks to the flypaper and says, "my flypaper". the flypaper sticks to the fly and says "my fly", but the fly is dead. " anyone care to explain?) she and her sister Julia crave attention SO MUCH. 8[] <--can you see the face???? ya? yea?

Funing....aww i love that kid. He takes initiative when cleaning up, so mature, too! AND he has the word "fun" in his name!

I had the chance to go bowling with the kids today.....it was encouraging to see the little kids being so nice to eachother! when we were deciding who would go in place of Eric (who had left for a walk), "You can go" "No, you can go." "No, you can go." "It's ok, you can go." "Ok thank you."

and they would hold up the bowling balls for the person bowling, so they wouldn't have to reach in to get it. David, Raymond, Amy, and Eric. THEY'RE SO CUTE.

-my shirt is graffiti'd with spongebob, plankton's relatives, and other interesting yet scary drawings. must wash soon.

============1:43 am, Aug 18, 2006============

WIN-nip-peg

Too much has happened since i last blogged....hence the not blogging. CCSA, Winnipeg, work...

note #1: i added in excerpts from my journal (NOT a diary), for the times i did not have words.
note #2: it is not in any particular order, but whatever came to mind.

THE SENDOFF.


Winnipeg was one amazing trip. never would i have imagined what God would do there! my purpose for going on this mission trip was to evangelize and to learn...and God learned me good. Prayer was so real, everpresent, the focus and the foundation of this special church, Bethlehem Aboriginal Fellowship.

-Healing Prayer room...how amazing. Jesus is the God of Healing, I fully believe that when his saints pray for something according to his will, they will receive. I am his saint, he has made me holy and empowered with his Spirit. I got to observe a session with Debby. I expected a method, but they just...prayed. That was it. The holy Spirit was SO there...I felt a lump in my throat and wanted to cry. Went off to a chair later to pray on my own, for God to forgive my unbelief.

-I slept during most of the meetings and debriefings. aiya. -.- zzZZZ

-during the service, while one of the pastors was sharing, a cute little girl named Shekanah Glory kept walking around the front, being a blessing..."let the little children come to me."

-of the many inspirational teachings that i learned, one goes something like this: "being filled with the spirit is not our job, we can't work at it...but we can continue to pray and be IN a relationship with God, who will be the one to fill us." - Clint

- Prep til 12 -2 am every night! no wonder i slept all the time.

-the cheap chocolate store! (which actually sold many edibles..just mainly sweets)
i'll let pictures speak from now on.

- oh the team....(back) Rich, Kiak, Mike, Kerwin, Julie, Kim, Nelson

(front) Dani, James, Almond

and this all shout....SWEETNESS!!

"He deserves our every praise..." -AK

=============================================

allright. it takes too long to blog and upload... will continue to update...sometime later. >.<

"words, words, words" -Hamlet

i have so much to say to some people, but no words to say it. no courage to say it either, or i'm afraid to hurt people.
oh words....why do you have to be so difficult!!
and i reread my grad quote today....aah it's so stoopid. if only i could sound smarter! hahaha
mm....the best words come from the bible. seriously....i was reading through the grad quotes, and there was one with just a verse...and it was GOOD. well what can you expect......it's God inspired. (the Word i mean)

fwwwwooosh

calculus: "crashed and burned"...."sucked like a pacifier"...."ran me over...and over...and over."
:'( i studied like 2 weeks for it too, got tutored. it was God's will cuz now i know i should NEVER go into any type of math now. haha.

bio: was ok. easier than i thought. lecture hall, desks 6x10 inches, at most. good stuff the teacher brought in a fan.

and of course...i donno if i'd ever wanna take my kids there...

more engrish!!

BOOING gum, complete with the "super brain panic" effect!








those bags are asking for it....

a blabberful.

-exams next week. NEXT WEEK. how crazy it THAT...i can't believe it either! not ready at all.... :(
may 29- bio. calc
june 1-chem
june 12- exsci (so much to learn in so little time....)

-got tutored in Calc. i think i understand graphs and asymptotes. i think. need to practice.

-YTS. Youth Takeover Sunday-- went well i think, i'm so proud of the team!! improved SO MUCH since the first practice...and having a new bassist and pianist. wow...they were ALL so amazing. cheers to fiona, john, melissa, peter, edwin, and james....and of course alex who coached us the whole way. XD i have to say not many of us were very confident, but had replaced that with nervousness, since it's a first for a sunday and all (except for fiona, i guess)...and i was shaking so much i could breathe deep...but in the end, it went well. the experience of seeing so many just WORSHIP...wow.

-and God always provides. [this calls for another :D ] had to do children's sunday school after the service, for which i hadn't even thought of anything...but i was told to give them coloring sheets for a coloring contest for VBS. yay, and it lasted the whole time. we even had some jokes and crazy IQ puzzles, (none of which i could solve..haha). josh is a genius. i had fun, i hope they did too.
find the next symbol in this sequence:

-softball practice was amazingly cold and windy. BUT it was good anyways, we got to practice the stuff we'd already learned and did more batting. i want to be able to hit on green...need batting gloves. haha my hands were so numb AND painful they stayed in the shape of the bat handle for a while. it feels so rare now to have practice...i dont see how i went to every practice last year since may, but this year's schooling gots priority over softball. :( so when school ends...i'll be there! at every practice...except for the ones in june 18-22. :P if i can't help it. hope leaders can talk more often. praying for O's....

-most people know already...but i'm not going to prom. just the expense, and i wasn't too excited about going...have plenty of acquaintances but i wouldn't feel comfortable spending the night with them. :P i know i'll regret it. but the deadline has passed, so on june 22 i'll be out with a friend who's also not going to prom. well, quality time. sorry to carmen and deb :( but i know you guys would have a great time anyways! feeling the karina-type parties....feel like dressing up and going out for no reason at all!

-going to athletic banquet though. my friend lied both our ways into taking the night school exam early so we could go. (they both landed on june 7) so, going to athletic.

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the JOY of the LORD.

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the JOY of the LORD.

YES, LORD....

I'm pressed by not crushed,
persecuted, not abandoned
struck down, but not destroyed.
And I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promis will endure
That his joy's gonna be my strength.
THOUGH THE SORROW MAY LAST FOR THE NIGHT
HIS JOY COMES IN THE MORNING.


that's exactly how i felt from friday to saturday. every day's meant to be a second chance for me to glorify God....seek him first, before doing anything else....let the JOY of knowing JESUS be my STRENGTH for the day. step by step...experiencing God in each step.

"The whole earth is filled with your glory, Lord..."

for a while now i haven't been consistent with my dates with God, due to distractions and work. but the wonderful thing is, even though i haven't made as much an effort to spend time with Him, it seems he spends time with me anyways...

He's everywhere, revealing himself in His creation and through any situation...just walk outside. away from the computer...and just sit and stare at all the beauty around you. have you felt the wind, or seen the very greeen grass and all the flowers and the sky?? sunsets? the RAIN from yesterday (admit it, you complained about it didn't you!)?? The God who planned every leaf on earth planned YOU and ME and loves us simply cuz we're his creation. there's nothing we can do to stop this love, cuz we're never gonna stop being his creation and He's never gonna stop being our Maker. i think i've repeated this at least 5 times in my bloggings, but it's too wonderful to not repeat it again! >.<

"37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." [Romans 8:37-39]

so back to "he's everywhere..."
during night school one night, i was able to share the gospel with a friend. it was because he was laying down all these contradictions that i didn't really know the answer to, but he eventually asked about the core of our beliefs--how jesus became our salvation. that totally made my night! even though the answers i gave weren't the best of explanations, it was something. you see...God even shows himself in chemistry class!

and this week i've had to present a song in keyboard class, and explain why we liked it, what's so special about it, etc. so i shared Chris tomlin's "Way i was Made"...and was able to explain to the class what we call worship and stuff. but the coolest thing is, today another classmate presented a song in Tamil, about Christ's sacrifice for us! and she even included a couple verses in her handout (namely, John 14:6 "I am the truth, the way, and the life..." and John 3:16 "for God so loved the world..") and totally shared the gospel through that. :D and it's awsome to just see that there are other Christians around you!

and God's been totally giving me the words to say lately...HIS word. whenever i needed to encourage someone or to just say a point, verses pop up in my head. i'm telling you, kids, GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL! everything you learn is applicable somehow, someday. you can't defend your faith if you don't know what you're defending!

========-------------==============--------========---------=========-----
Our soccer season ended at the quarter finals yesterday, in the cold, pouring rain. we played Mowat A, one of the best teams in the league. last year they beat us 8-1 or 8-0 (also during rain/hail/negative degrees), BUT this year we only lost by 2. :D one of the hardest games, i think, cuz the wind blew so hard, the rain blinded our sight, and the other team was just too darn good! everyone was soaked from head to toe, most of us had sweaters underneath our jerseys, with doubled our weight, etc etc. hehe i barely ran, shame on me, but it was pretty cool. how is it that the weather changes so drastically!? 25 degrees one day, thunderstorm the next, and it's all sunny today again! :O God's got a sense of humour :P Mac girls: 3-1-1

barely been to any O's practices, cuz got so much to do...but hopefully this will change once exams end!! 2 weeks and they start.. eek.

YTS coming up in 9 days!! aaaahhhhh.....[worried][nervous][undeserving...]

Mother's day in 2 days! need to actually do something this time!

do you ever get those days when you just don't feel like smiling? thats this weekend for me....i also tend to be extremely corny when i'm trying to mask my unsmiling-ness. :/ er...i don't even know. i love to smile and i love to laugh (it uses less muscle, too), but sometimes the tiredness gets to me. or i'll have dramatic mood swings and be super happy (and corny) one moment and fall off into the unsmiling, want-to-throw-something mood on the next.
BLEH, i say. BLEH.

i praise God for my bros in Christ though. thanks for being there.

it's almost 11:30 and i have to wake up at 6 for practice at 7:30. we're at the top of our pool (i think). so we get into playoffs this week...yes we only had four games...needing energy. and needing some honey water for my parched throat.

i'm doing too much. at the wrong times. like blogging right now, and emailing a moment ago when i shoulda been doing my calc. BLEH.

i love softball. and the Oracles.
"My heart is in the shape of an O"...so is the large bruise on my thigh.

nameable

when i was a kid, i always wanted a nickname...so whenever i drew a comic strip or made up a story, i'd make up a name that went along with it. such as danica (but that sounds like a marble for some reason).

and now i have one. or many. it's been more than a few times that people have asked me: "is your name danielle or daniela?"
hmm. for you, I DON'T KNOW. so just to clarify, my official birth certificate name is danielle, but everyone in costa rica calls me daniela (with one "L"). so take your pick. i generally think that the people who don't know me as well will call me by my official name, danielle, while the people that know me a bit better will make up their own name for me or use daniela. i've quite a collection of names, i think: danielle, daniela, daniella (note the extra L), dani, d., danlee (=P..my initials are D.L. also),..ooh. i thought there were more. well, the more embarrasing one the exists no more is "a dan", which, sounded out in chinese, means "an egg".

-------------------------------------------
the past few weeks i've been trying to be more studious and actually concentrate on homework for more than half hour. since march break my marks have been dropping like a slinky on the stairs, cuz school wasn't one of my priorities. well, it's never been one. as a matter of fact, i never could understand why people would stress so much about school, when there's so much more to life than simply school. (like God....and soccer. XP )

i've always done an average job in school, cuz i have good short term memory (so i can study well for tests) and i'd do my homework. when i came to canada, i got involved with plenty of church stuff, and since God was my priority, and church was 'closer' to God, church activities became priority.
but it shoulda been school. it's a priveledge and a blessing to have an education at all, and the chance of getting into a university. so i'm gonna concentrate more on school these days, till the END. of HIGH SCHOOL. up til then, i'm gonna learn to refuse playing softball and chilling with people unless necessary....so i can do HOMEWORK. *sigh* not looking forward to it too much, but it's gotta happen to keep my marks up.
--------------------------------------------------
soccerin'
so we had our second game against Cedarbrae (spelling?) and, with the super skills of our goalie, liz. we kept the score at 0-0. quite a funny event, cuz we did not shoot ONCE on the other net, while they had at LEAST 2o shots. per half. ON NET. and our amazing goalie saved them ALL. in the words of a cederbrae girl: "i swear, your goalie's touched by an angel!"
i hope we can try harder, work better as a team, and TALK MORE. aiya, that field is silent when we play!
------------------------------------------
summer's almost heeerrreeee.....2 more months and school's OVER.....
that means prom's coming up.
not a fan of dressing up and staying dressed up for such a long time...but i guess i have to go. once in a lifetime..why not. still need to get a dress, or borrow from cousin or somebody. :/
aaahh...and it's so expensive! $$$$

gonna be spending so much these days: for soccer (jersey), softball (equipment, jersey, registration, etc), prom (ticket,...ticket...dress + accessories???)
i don't see how people can spend so much on clothes, like $30 pants. and that's probably the ones on sale. =P

ah. and softball...
passed my ump test!!! but then that means i have to ump now...and make decisions...and have people yell at me for making bad calls :$ but if God provided, he wants me there for a reason =) definitely looking forward to meeting all the O's on sunday!! >< can't wait!

anyways, back to chem homework.

OOoooOoOoOOooo

yes finally. it gets tiresome sometimes. blogging i mean.

==================================================
MAC girl's varsity soccer team had their first game today. it was just exhibition, good thing, cuz we lost 1-0. which isn't bad, considering that only a few people on our team actually moved most of the game (i wasn't one of them) and the other team had about 50 shots on net. and we only had 3 subs the whole game...which weren't used much at all. some of our best players weren't there, and the other team, churchill CI, was an ARMY compared to ours. AND they cheered a lot more too. of course i woulda cheered/encouraged more if i wasn't trying to moisten my lips the whole time, and if my mouth didn't feel like cotton. *note: need to get a 1L nalgene bottle* BUT our actual games start next week, and we're only having 1 practice this week. how silly! O_o oooh well! any time to play soccer is better than nothing =D

i noticed that a lot of Christians don't find their schools a place to be as 'godly' or good as they are in, say, church. it's so much easier to ignore it at school when we cuss, make crude jokes, argue with our teachers, or complain than when we're at church or some christian environment...it's quite sad, because people who know we are Christians look at our lives and judge the religion by what we do. we're a living sacrifice to God--at school too, mind you. as a matter of fact, i think God's children would shine even more at school, cuz we're actually different from everyone else. just like a goldfish would stand out from a group of...guppies, so we should stand out as God's children in a crowd of non-christians.

"15My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." [john 17:15-16]

and another thing i've thought of...it's not just our peers that we are witnessing to, but our teachers too. this one time alfred preached that everything we do either draws someone closer to heaven or away from it. every argument we have with them, or gossip about them...that may be one step away from heaven, too.

===============================================
so about htis weekend-----i got to play some softball with ETers...soo fun! but i got an inch of bruise on my forearm cuz i can't bat worth...the green. you see, my batting ability is so bad that i kept hitting myself with the bottom of the bat. :P (it's actually not that bad, but i tend to exaggerate wounds) can't wait for summer to start so i don't have to worry about homework while playing. XP and got to meet with Alice to pray and talk about O's this season.

" 13Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." [James 5:13-16]

oh yes. and i made an oracles logo that won't be used..but had fun making. XD these are the variations.

and a random fact about me. i dislike drinking water out of a cup...i have to drink it out of a bottle. and Nestle water tastes wierd. overly chlorinated, perhaps.

i'll do more later. i think a series of little posts are more interesting than one gigantic one. =)

lots to say. i'll post sooon. remind me, someone!

pics+more

ahhh.. and of course a shout out to TEAM ROCK at junior TC..who were just GREAT. great to see the younger ones, i guess, be so inquinsitive and cheerful and grow so much, i guess. i got the priveledge of praying for/with one of the girls afterwards. what a blessing.




so yea. i ripped pics off..well a lot of people, so you can see them HERE:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2108159595

hah yea i don't know how to do the link thing.

God's really blessed lately. i'll leave it at that. =)

TC 2006...where can i start!??

this is gonna be long, i warn you, dear readers!!

First and foremost..PRAISE GOD for the 64 who went out to accept or just ask about JESUS in jrtc, and those in senior, too. (no count)... it says that "all heaven rejoices over once new believer"...imagine 64 and more!! XD heaven's loudspeakers are cracking!!
it was AMAZING. God HAS WORKED in TC, and HE IS GOOD!!!
BUT the most amazing thing ever...(at least for me)
During the response, Martine and I were praying for the nonchristians in our group...and almost immediately after we finished praying, one of them went out crying, followed by two others. now THAT is some SPEEDY answering. i don't know what was on her heart, but i'm pretty darn sure it was JESUS. martine, edie, and i ran out after them and prayed for them outside too...i had no words, but PRAISE GOD. i was having a cryfest of joy along with them. PRAISE the God of WONDERS!!! for Bonnie, Devin, Sam, Peter, and Christine from team Daniel, who were not yet Christians. lets keep praying for them!
and for Derek, Katie, and Ankie who rededicated their lives to the most AWSOME GOD!! XD

IT DOESN'T END THERE....this sunday, Devin came to ET. it couldn't be a more tangible answer to prayers, or evidence of God's great and moving hand!! soooo happy! thank you LORD for bringing Devin into Your, our family! may YOU continue to work!!

And i can't help but thank Him for TEAM DANIEL. So much prayer, so much sharing...*broken backs* from having 27 people in a circle, on their knees, with their arms around eachother, praying to God, korean style. But seriously, there was some awsome love in that group!! and so much more focus on Christ instead of the cheers, the games, etc. =D

and now this is where they start....MAN TEARS. only i'm not a man, no matter how much my voice sounds like it. har har. bang! bang! jiu jiu jiu!
oh tcwt jrs, how i miss you guys!! *sniff sniff* MANCATOOOoooooo
it feels like it's over...... its so surreal. like that's the best thing that ever happened, but it was done and over in a second. how i've come to love each and every one of you guys for just being YOU. for all those times where i've been able to confide in you and share with you, and best of all to pray with you. to my brothuhs and sistuhs from the same Father......(allright, i told you the notes were hard to write. so after a bit more thinking...or i might be writing the same thing, but that's ok =D )

hubes (DAD)--for your confidence in us and for focusing us entirely towards God and worshiping him, not on our music or how we sound. for all the rides!
jay--for all your smiles and way to make everyone laugh, and always knowing how to encourage, and make them feel *special*. my leung sister!! we shall somersault race again one day!
evaman--for perservering through broken bridges, dysfunctional batteries, and a LOT of teasing! hahaha. you're still MY hero though!!
muriel--for being the sweetest, most innocent person i've EVER known!!! but also being so in touch with God and for praying so faithfully for your friends...
troy--for always having the right words to say, for being so humble and honest about your opinions, and being the leader God's made you to be!!
drew--ooh man. for being the craaazy kid you are, for lightening(is that how you spell it?) up every practice and your *fart* noises, water droplets, "YEA!"s,jokes....and of course. your chick magnet phone. XP and yet such a godly young person.
jess--our dirty fighterr!! for being so insightful, honest, godly, friendly...for teaming up against anyone and everyone...no more cheesecake for you! :O
edie--for your unrelenting commitment to the team! for knowing when to be serious, or corny, or lo que sea! for your prayers!

yea we've had the ups and down....missing sound system, drumset, and prayer the night before TC,....some crazy stuff, corny jokes, super prayer times...ooh man! and the pranks (if only i were muriel and hadn't done it, as much fun as it was. felt so bad afterwards :$ ) and the saran wrap booby traps in the basement (soo good!!), haha!! loved the girl talk, jitz, the fights, and the bang! games, but once again the greatest of all was the prayer, the closeness, people who you could just talk to about anything and they'd pray for you. sure, it was hard at first...but it's like i'm missing something now. cherish you guys forever and ever amen!!

AV...they're like the fantastic, uh, fewsome. =D ssoooo great, like energizer bunnies! just keep going and going and going for all the media, the worship, the speaker, rec....and they always kept a smile on their face and still did a lil with their teams, (yay team daniel!! AV cubed!)

Fat Camp (aka media), the craziest bunch around! so accepting, so fun, so...*burst into tears*...MANCATO you all!! "am i really that STUPID? am i really that UGLY?" "jay kay! jay kay!"

Sycamores [syk-and-more], so wonderfully gifted in all the instruments, the voices...and at BBM-ing! eek. :$ having one of the worst things that could have happened happen, and still getting up and leading worship just as well!!

in the end...."never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord." -romans 12:11

busy busy busy and lazy

[SCHOOL] [i consider as unenjoyable, stressful, aggravating, and even painful work] < :P >
calc test: Mar 8
art project: Mar 9
Nutrition project: Mar 10
all Uni apps: Mar 17
Chem ISU test: Mar 22
5th Business seminar: Mar 23

[CHURCH] [enjoyable] [ break from unenjoyable/stressful/aggravating work] [no homework]
Softball meeting: this sunday
dan.sing: Mar 3,10
TCWT: Mar 4, 5, 11, 12
TC: Mar 13-16
Daniel Retreat: Mar 15-17
Daniel program: Mar 24

[OTHER] [work i make for myself]
make DF and friend's bday cards
write mel, becca, timon, johnny, tim, jenny, wawa (months overdue)
write on grad pics???
update resume
look for summer job & apply
sew up pants. i'm adding belt loops to one and i ripped a massive hole in the crotch of another (playing soccer.)

-------how ironic, this is one of my only free days of the week, and yet i got not an iota of homework done. i've eaten and msned. and blogged. uh oh-----------

mood--> :D cuz i'm not doing any work.

In conclusion: if I am on msn during the expanse of this...month, TELL ME TO GET OFF. unless i have a good reason for it. in that case, only urgent messages of extreme importance should be sent (by me) (or by you.)

ooh man...that ENGRISH!

I bet this was made in China...

<----save the pigs!!

Darn it! paper jam again!

taken from www.engrish.com

Your grace is enough.....

i had the crappiest of crappy weeks last week or so...not cuz of any event specifically. it was just my mood i think. BUT i've forgotten about it, simply because of an email from a person who cared. i nearly broke down, and spilled it all out.

HONESTY....i'm striving for that. when people ask me how i am, i usually say "pretty good" just so that i'll seem happy. and as much as i want the whole world to suffer my bad mood with me, i'll cover it up. a little lie is just the same in God's eyes, so i'd been telling a lot of lies lately. BUT i'll try to be honest with, well, everyone now.

hmmm. one thing i've been reflecting on is how many really stupid and bad decisions i've made. They're so stupid you wouldn't believe it. "like, WHO DOES THAT?!?!" is my response to most of them. they're my "airhead" moments.

Such as the time when i left the van door WIDE open and didn't even realize it as a skipped happily back home, and the frustrated friend had so go around and close it. (he was tired, it was near midnight) [like, WHO DOEST THAT?!?!]

Or telling another good friend to basically get away from me, right after he'd given me a great birthday gift. my lame reason was cuz "my mom said...." [like, WHO DOEST THAT?!?!]

Or the countless times i'd unknowingly hurt people by ignoring them, or leaving them in the middle of a convo to go talk to more "popular" people, or just people i felt more comfortable with. now that i think about it, i never did feel comfortable with the more popular group.

ANYWAYs. i had another airhead moment today. i was talking to a good old friend of mine, and confessed to him that i'd talked behind his back before and what i had thought of him before. and that hurt him really bad, and i don't even know why i said it. it just 'came out', and trust me it wasn't pretty. just for having kept it going, i needed a good slap. why? just for the sake of having something to say? and i thought it'd better the relationship for not keeping secrets? who knows...i feel so guilty now. i think he was having a bad day too. :(

on a lighter octave (*haha* why's it alway's on a lighter note? this is a whole octave lighter, if you didn't get it), i've learned a lot this week, spiritually and in school too i guess. but school is lower down the priority list.....so spiritually. the biggest thing that stood out to me (courtesy of dear friend mentioned at the beginning) is the when i reject myself, i'm ultimately rejecting God's grace of having brought me to where i am and who i am. reject myself as in putting myself lower than what God intended me to be, or beating myself up for having done or been a certain way. the Lord accepts me just the way i am (although he really loves us too much to leave us where we are...but longs to mold us into the image of his Son). yea, whoever's a longtime churchgoer has heard this many many times...but hey! i finally learned it. :D

Verse of the Day: "But now, this is what the Lord says--He who created you,...He who formed you...'Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name; YOU ARE MINE."

and it links to what i said before, cuz "through jesus christ, God cares for us simply because we belong to Him."

just worship...

from the "just worship!" newsletter........[i'd put a link but i don't know how]


WHEN IS WORSHIP WORSHIP? Part I
By Dr. Harold Best (Copyright Leadership U)

Permit me to approach this subject from the rather odd perspective of the design of an airplane, let's say the successor to the still-new Boeing 777. This airplane--let's call it the 787--will, of course be a larger, faster, safer, quieter, and more fuel-efficient version of any of its predecessors. Its designers will be uncommonly aware of the gastronomic and ergonomic well-being of the passenger. No longer will the lasagna taste like oregano-flavored silly putty. No longer will the passenger have to assume and maintain a fetal position while using the lavatories. There will be quadruple redundancies in every mechanical, hydraulic, electrical, navigational, and flight control system. State-of-the-art automation will make present-day hands-off flying seem primitive by comparison. The latest structural concepts will be employed: light-weight, resilient, and super-tough composites will be used.

A wonderful airplane so far, yes? But only so far, for one strategic question remains. Without a satisfactory answer, the project is nothing more than second-level busyness and group-think. The question is this: What makes airplanes fly? What will hold this new 787 up there? Oh yes, wings. No problem. And, of course, tail surfaces, for all airplanes must look not only like airplanes, they must be controlled in the usual way. Right. But what makes airplanes fly? Wings. Right. But how do wings work and how should this particular wing work to lift this particular aircraft?

There is a fundamental law which lies at the heart of these questions: Bernoulli's law. To violate it is to invite abject disaster. It is one of the laws established by the Creator and for as long as this creation endures this Creator will see to it that the airplanes that have been designed to obey this law will certainly fly. Thus, we can rest assured that, once this new 787 reaches a certain ground speed, and once the pilot pulls back on the yoke; once the aircraft rotates on its axis by reason of the down forces acting on the elevators; and once this rotational angle is correct, the partial vacuum created by pressure differentials on both sides of the wing will literally be enough to lift this shining and comfortable leviathan from the ground. It's not that this aircraft decides to fly, because it feels like it or because the pilot wants it to. It simply has to fly by reason of adherence to this fundamental common ground law.

Now how does this talk about designing an imaginary airplane and obeying Bernoulli's law relate to the subject of worship? In this way, I believe: We can make the mistake of coming at the subject of worship in the same way the airplane was designed. That is, instead of first of all delving into that elemental, fundamentally simple, and understandable principle of worship--its Bernoulli's law--we may be more likely to go into extended detail about the works that comprise worship, studying up, consulting texts, attending seminars, brainstorming here and planning there, locating all of the amenities, techniques and technologies, delving into options, searching out the histories and selecting among the diversity. Instead of asking what worship is , we concentrate on what worship does , striving to make worship work, hoping that the works of worship get the job done. If they don't we are compelled to call our methods into question, consult culture for its latest advice, attend another conference, or read another book, each of which adds detail to detail, option to option, diffusion to diffusion and--oftentimes--come-on to come-on.

Think of the ways we have of late made worship into such a self-conscious flurry: cutting it up into styles; segregating it away from other spiritual activities; idealizing or Utopianizing it; thinking of worship as an end point or a high point--an event instead of a process; making worship so heavily dependent on--overly consumed by-- music; music as the fulcrum, the catapult, the lubricant; separating worship away from witness and evangelism; making worship either into the emotional and experiential antidote to formalism or the formalized answer to emotion and spontaneity. We see worship as denominationally determined; worship as ethnocentrism or cultural separateness; worship this, worship that, conferences here, symposia there; source books, methodologies, cue sheets and, sadly enough, worship styles as litmus tests for spirituality. It just may be that, instead of worshipping, we have come to the dangerous condition of worshipping about worship or even worshipping worship.

To be continued...

i'm still alive....

so much to say....
but it'll have to wait.

jesus SHAVES

this brought a smile to my face today...when i was sending it to my dad. oh, you can't really see the tattoo on his arm, but it's a heart that says "dad" on it. :D

this week has been THE most physically unproductive week EVER, i believe.

BUT...

God's been dumping blessings after blessings::
-getting a prayer partner who's bombarded me with bible studies (hahaha it's a good thing), continually reminding me about the Great One and just getting to know ourselves in relation to Him
-Dad's doing great, motivated in both studying and preaching
-going to UTSC's asian christian fellowship---> totally cleared up this thing about predestination (...well, more foreknowledge, big difference!!) and free will. allow me to regurgitate the analogy: We're in a race. Jesus is with us at the beginning, but since he's EVERYWHERE, he's also at the finish line, and everywhere in between. He knows what's gonna happen and who's gonna be at the finish line, but is also with you and seeing your decisions being made along the way.
Now the question of predestination: in Ephesians 1:11 it says, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will..." so we were CHOSEN, and PREDESTINED to do certain things, so how does that give us free will? does it mean that our decisions are actually planned? ...very confused. (also remembering some of the questions posed at ACF) so does God predestine certain people to go to hell? that would not make him a very loving God, would it?
well, continuing recounting blessings....
-going to TLT, so wonderful just seeing people serve those in need, and being willing to talk to them and just get to know them and stuff. but i wonder if those who we serve know Jesus. after all, it's the ultimate decision, isn't it? wouldn't it be good if we shared with them about this salvation we have? i'm just assuming the "regulars" don't usually because we didn't this time i went. The first guy that my group visited, Scott, had a Bible with him. i wonder if he understood what it said in there. what if we were meant to help him interpret it or understand it with the knowledge that we've accumulated?? or it'd be cool even to just show him our favorite verses...i donno. at the debrief they were saying how we should begin praying for them again...wonderful idea. prayer gives such a fuzzy feeling :)
-fellowship was GREAT!!! i pray that He can infest Himself into this group of people, give us the togetherness thats brought only by Him....the passion....the servant heart....
-i can throw a football now, at least a toy one. hahaha.
-simply having a family to come home to... :D
-LIFE. so precious, taken for granted.
-words. or is it?? I used to be unable to pray aloud, the words i wanted to say just never came out right, no matter how good my intentions were. I prayed the "real" prayers alone or in my mind. or both. :P now i can pray "better" prayers aloud...but sometimes i wonder if i really mean what i say. i used to have the thought and not the words, now i have the words, and perhaps not the thought??

no need for conclusion....(ahh, silly essays)

Chinese vs. the Pope

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would leave.

The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them.

Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "neither side would be allowed to talk".

The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute.

Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The Chinese can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope asking him what happened? The Pope said, "first I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions."

"Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us."
He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us."

"I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for everything.

What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded around Ah Peh. "What happened?"they asked.

"Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I replied to him not one of us was leaving." "Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here."

"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd. "I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine."

grad pics

so yea...these are my scanned "do not copy" proofs....haha
not the ones i ordered though.

excellence

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion.He hardly knows which is which.He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing.To him he is always doing both."?
James Michener

hmmm......

in the past few weeks.....

-i've been greatly encouraged by brothers and sisters in Christ
-exams have neared
-school has not been that much of a burden, mostly because i've been lazy and not done my homework
-i learned how to add links to a blog
-i've gotten angry
-i've gotten annoyed
-i spent a huge amount of money on grad pics ($125)
-i've communicated with old old friends
-i've talked less on the phone
-i learned to juggle for three rounds, at least
-the house basement flooded, while i was asleep and wes was on the computer. my mom came home and kept ringing the doorbell, but i was afraid to open it cuz i thought it was raining really hard OUTSIDE, when in fact there was a hole in the roof right above the door that was spraying water out crazily. spent much time clearing out water.
-i had great discussions/sharing within cell group....= BLESSING
-God has spoken to me many many times, through Unplugged & remixed concert, through friends, classmates, parents, and of course, his Word
-i've confessed something out loud
-prayer has been more prominent in my day
-i've listened to the same cd over and over again
-i've cried..er, teared up--a lot. "Y no podria estar ante Ti...sin llorar como un nino. Y pasaria el tiempo asi, sin querer nada mas, nada mas que escucharte hablar." (And i couldn't go before You...without crying like a child. And time would pass like that, without wanting anything other than to hear You speak)

SkIiNg + other things

haha the title looks like "skling"..but no, it's SKIING!!

i went skiing yesterday...owned the bunny hills!! but then got owned on everything else. i wiped out on all the hills (blues and black diamonds) except maybe three of them. the scariest thing was looking at a very steep hill, (or any hill) and not being able to see the bottom. it's like not knowing what will happen in the future. it IS not knowing what will happen in the future.

ahhh, anyways, the most comforting thing that happened: EVERY time one of us wiped out--which was a lot--(and was mostly either me or my mom) all the others stopped to help. or at least stopped to wait. well, except for me, since i didn't know how to stop and went too fast. :$ i give thanks for the falls, cuz "you fall so you can get back up" -Alfred (in Batman Begins). in any case..SSOOOOO fun!!! i can't wait to go again!!

and other things i can't wait for:
-softball
-completing my personal goal #2
-high school to END --> summer!!!!
-getting an accountability/prayer partner
-both TC's
-seeing CR friends again

some things to pray for:
-Daniel--> new programs, leaders/counselors, spiritual growth (don't cancel bible study!!!!!)
-personal goal #2
-TC---> team, humbleness, attendees

now that i'm thinking about Daniel...singsperation....it frustrates me so much not to know what to say in between the songs or how to communicate with the team or just how to lead in general. i feel like such a bad leader, i don't know how to encourage them. i'm just hoping they don't feel DIScouraged whenever i criticize or make really last minute decisions for the format of the songs or what to sing, etc etc. i give thanks for their improvising skills, for not knowing whats going on, and just following me when i start out....or start going all over the place. :|
if only i could learn to actually put to use the criticism i get, or at least ask for it. [sigh]

i guess i'm focusing more on how i myself am leading and how the songs are sounding than the words....but if i worry about the words, i wouldn't get anything done, and just enjoy the song in my head. aaah ok i don't know what i'm saying....must be late.

anyways, tonight's worship was....well...OK. whoops--> singsperation was OK, and worship, ANYTIME we're worshiping God, is GREAT!!! so, tonight's singsperation was OK. and awkward, i was told. and really bad leading, and my big mistake of putting in a somewhat new song. after an hour or so of practicing and only getting half the songs, dan.sing. team (AKA DANiel SINGsperation team....hahaha) scrapped the whole thing and we (fine, more "I") decided to just sit in a circle and sing everything accappella. it was nice actually hearing the rest of the people sing, for once! and when we sang
"Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that i need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice"
(from Word of God speak), I was just like, "YES!!!" i regret not having a verse prepared as planned, but OH WELL. it gave a chance so that we can all find God's Word speaking to us in our own time...er, His own time.

i'm off to hear God's Word speak, then.