[sigh]

dear Lord...
what can i say? i have no excuse. i've tried and not gone through with it. lord, you've given me everything i could ever ask for. why am i still procrastinating?
Lord, i feel like i'm ... i don't even know. i've gotten selfish and egocentric without you. even in here i've said my own name more than yours.
Jesus.......i've gotten angry, annoyed, rude, you know the rest. i need you more than ever, lord. arrg. why can't i just start and keep it going? why don't i feel motivated? maybe that's my problem. maybe it's that "i" am starting instead of You. then may you start it. in your own time, your own place. why does your plan always have to be so different from mine though?? so unexpected, so...surprising.
[sigh]
thank you for listening, Lord. thank you for your love. i praise you for your plan, cuz i know it's always gonna be better. thank you, Lord. thank you.
daniel, et, tcwt, n, s, a,....thank you lord.

dear God...

Make my life a prayer to You...I want to do what you want me to. no empty words, no white lies no token prayer, no compromise. I wanna thank you for the life you gave through your Son that you sent to save us--from ourselves, and our despair. It comforts me to know You're really there.

And i wanna thank you now for being patient with me. oh, it's so hard to see when my eyes are on me! and i guess i'll have to trust and just believe what you say...oh, you're coming again, coming to take me away.

Thank you Lord.

today

wow. this afternoon was absolutely...pure.
on the walk home from school...it was silent. there was no wind at all, and the snow covered EVERYTHING. (even my view)
it was beautiful.
it was pure.
peaceful.
calm.
:)

uh-thor-i-tee

after serious contemplation of the dec 9 tc mandatory devos, "crazy people", i have come to the realization that i've never truly been IN LOVE with JESUS. i always think, yea, God is so great, i love him cuz he's so awsome, and blah blah blah, but yea, i have to say i haven't gotten to know JESUS himself the way i could have.

i've always had a problem with authority. no, i don't get in trouble or talk back....quite the opposite actually. i respect authority so much i can never draw close to them, or see them as friends i can talk to or joke around with.
parents.
counselors.
teachers.
coaches.
Jesus.
as a matter of fact, i'm too polite even to my own friends that i don't get close to them either. that's why i get so boring sometimes...haha. shoot.
i heard a quote once that said something like 'politeness is what kills the relationship' or i donno. k, it definitely wasn't that. anyways, my point is, being polite = saying or hiding things so that the other person doesn't get hurt. which kills the brutal honesty, and hence the relationship...etc etc.
*sigh*
how'd i get here? wasnt i talking about loving Jesus before?
well i figure in order to fall in love with Jesus i have to get to know him in all purity, of couse, so one of my goals for..whenever...is to get to know HIM. just start fresh, finding him on my own instead of getting spoonfed on sundays and friday night bible studies.

remind me of that.

Realize

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother
Who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor
Of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

snaw

hey everyone, SNA coming up the 17th, at Richmond Hill Chinese Community church.
http://www.saturdaynightalive.ca

saving memories

semi-post...

a lot of time i realize that whenever something happens, i "save" it to tell certain people, and hide it from others. am i the only one?

lately....
-i think i'm learning how to juggle. not really, but trying. (wes found juggling balls somehow) haha, by the next time someone asks me, i'll be like, juggle?what? give me a soccer ball!

-Ranger reunion on saturday/sunday....shopping and eating [nonstop] and watching slideshow of camp, and oh! watched part of the first season of OC, (cmon, who in the world would ACTUALLY be as pretty as those people)...but i guess i didn't enjoy it as much as i could have, cuz i was tired and didn't realy want to go, so i didn't try to enjoy it. it was ok catching up with people though. ah! and the girl's house i was sleeping over at, she had this very..friendly dog. we were sleeping in the basement, and the dog kept coming over and crawling all over the matresses...bleh, dog hair EVERYWHERE. on a lighter note, the dog was really cute. hehe.

-sunday didn't go to church. hmm i already miss it.

-got home on sunday, had tc worship. it was great! yea go fruit roll-up fights. hahaha.

-haven't been doing homework really. as a matter of fact, i'm not really caring about school much anymore...or going to uni either. arrrggg. this sucks.

-haven't been doing devos lately either. i need God...i need to spend more time with him! it's like having a wonderful, faithful, perfect friend, and only talking to him once in a while. preferring computer or blogging over him. (mental note: PRIORITY) maybe i'll stop all hw/msn-ing/blogging/whatever else at 10:30 every night, and spend some time with Him. that way i'll sleep earlier too. =)