Lent

It was my first Lenten season...I fasted from Facebook, Peekvid, MSN sites...and lunch and/or breakfast, one day a week of Lent.

It began with doubts, since commitment is one of my weakest of weaknesses. Every time I "commit" to something, it simply dwindles away. Each time i vowed to eat healthy, every bible study book, every computer curfew, every exercise schedule, or even the promises i've made...they simply dwindled away. This Lenting-ness...it must have been all God!

Lenting Facebook was my giving my community to God. There's been many times where i wondered what it would be like without my family, my friends, my church community
...what if all i had left was God?

I've cried over the thought of it. I couldn't survive without community. But God showed me so much more!
You DO work in interesting ways.
God, you've helped my self-esteem by not looking at other people, by not seeing what their interactions were like (yes, i stalked!)...and comparing their relationships to mine.

I've been more thankful. appreciative. giving . confident. Less jealous, wasted a bit less time.

You've driven me to ask and listen more, instead of finding out everything through facebook. =)
Thank you, Jesus! i don't know if i want to go back...this is such a nice place to be.

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MSN sites....you know those "Windows Live Today" popups every time you sign into MSN? I'm a sucker for the MSN Today articles (not the news ones), especially if there are galleries from the Academy Awards or something. yes, i like fashion too! ...and celeb gossip!

But once again, Lord You are good....maybe it's because i've stopped looking at those sites and focused on REAL people, that i've slowly lost my interest in...that stuff. In perfect (or not so perfect)-looking people and every detail and rumour about their lives. Hehe, i was able to resist a Fashion magazine while in the gym today (i don't usually read, but this was a particularly long bike ride). =)

Really, I DO have a very feminine side.

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Fasting FOOD. I actually jumped to it, since i'd been trying not to eat so much anyways. The sunday lunch after that service, though, James and Albert reminded me that fasting is useless if the heart isn't for God.

I kinda thought. Kinda rethunk. there were much better things to fast than food (aka facebook), things that would help draw me closer to God. The incentive for fasting food would be too overwhelmed by the desire to not eat so much.

I fasted food anyways. I wanted to do this as a part of a fellowshipping with ETers. Doing something together...but I'm not so sure anything happened, except for the constant thought "Lord, I draw my strength from You."

Today. I fasted breakfast and lunch. Interestingly enough, i went to the bathroom more than a couple times for #2. HAHA I was STILL digesting stuff from the night before! Maybe God used this to clean out my digestive system, since i actually drank my whole bottle of water today. =) And...i didn't feel hungry at all! it's as if God really, literally meant that "He who comes to me shall never go hungry...."

hahaha...sounds naive...but i'll thank God anyways. =) sometimes it's the smallest things that bring the greatest joy...

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Breaking of Lent service was nice. Nice, quiet time of prayer and eating a filling sandwich, with some beautiful piano in the background. Sharing communion, and calling someone "sister", that someone being likely older than my mom. Still trying to embrace the terms of brothers and sisters in Christ...applicable to ANY child of God, including parents.

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Jesus...

I need you. now that this 'deadline' has passed...i don't want to continue being tempted. Help me draw my strength from You. i am but one of many...i'm not Noah. Humble me...teach me, God.