SUMMER 07 Part 1: Girls, commitment, and catapillars

Phenomenology: to me, it's trying to understand someone through their lived experience.

Now it's been a long time since summer, and i'm lazy, why not jump into my summer experience by seeing what was said "back then"?

POST WRITTEN ON JUNE 14, 2007.

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God's definitely been good....I feel like I've learned so much from the girls at work, Nancy & Amy. very long lunches...can you imagine the GIRL TALK that goes on?! We stuff ourselves like...bike tires with air-- until we're so bloated we're stiff! it's so bad...but SO GOOD. "why do we DO this to ourselves?!" I've been so blessed with these friends that prompt me to be more consistent in prayer, in reminding ourselves that we're working for God, and make me laugh non-stop....friends that I can offer my little piece to, also. and not just the girls, but the pastoral staff, Rici, and Ivan who shows up at our meetings. Gah, i'm so blessed!

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Anywho, ...let it be random.
two things i'm afraid of: girls and catapillars.


Girls....oh girls. I've always had a harder time talking to girls because i feel like they're the ones that i'm supposed to form closer relationships with, and have all these awesome girl talks with. So i've been afraid to form those relationships, fearing what other girls think of me (i'm not..really...your typical chica). and dwelling on that so much that i don't live the moment; instead, i'll be so conscious of what i'm saying and what i'm doing. I told a friend once that maybe it's because i feel like they're more accomplished as a woman than I am....what a possibility. What a crazy thing.

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I'm working on it though. Trying to live the moment, and it's been quite a journey learning to be satisfied with myself, with who God's made me to be. I want to be able to offer of myself to others, and learn from them. Especially my sisters in Christ, women of God.

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The second week of work, Nancy and I went around the neighborhood to hand out flyers. Door to door we went, cuz MAYBE, someone would come to the BBQ and sign up for VBS!
But almost to the sweeney area, CATAPILLARS began appearing EVERY FEW STEPS. GAaaahh.....we ran all the way back to church.

I guess it's their squishyness, like a sponge, and their stubs for legs. and the way they crawl. aaahhhhhhh my worst NIGHTMARES had catapillars in them!
And i refuse to post a picture of a catapillar on this blog!

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Commitment has been on my mind a lot.
How committed am I to my closest friends? To my family? to my promises?

I've realized how BAD i am at keeping promises (ie chores). sure, i have the most willing heart....i'm definitely the first son in that vineyard parable. (forgot the passage)

I'vd stopped promising to pray for people unless i definitely know i will...my better version of the "sure!" is "i can't promise anythign, cuz i don't know if i'll go through with it".

Devos, are one of the greatest commmitements. I'm trying to do different things all the time, so i don't have a "routine" devo. I guess change works for me better.....and routines become to robotic to remember the meaning of the work.